Boy, oh boy, it's that time of year again. Lots to unpack in the coming days, but want to give everyone ample time to come up with their contender for best team name. Here's a refresher on the rules:
- The day after the draft a poll will be posted to vote for best team name based on these criteria: creativity, originality, comedic value, and poignancy
- An appropriate team logo image must be included to qualify, and it's quality and relevance will also factor in to the above vote
- Coach with most votes will get to submit 3 punishment ideas for the league's vote, one of which will be inflicted on the team that comes in last place at the conclusion of the season. Punishments will be non-permanent to the victim, approved by the commissioner prior to submittal, and intended to inflict maximum embarrassment. The 3 submitted punishment ideas will then be voted upon by the entire league, and the last place team must comply or else be banished from the league for all eternity
Now you may be wondering, "wasn't Hunt the IFL Loser of the Year for 2017? I never heard tell nor saw any evidence that his punishment was doled out".
Yes, Hunt was the IFL Loser of the Year for 2017 and no, his punishment was not doled.
In fact, Hunt has been on the run from IFL authorities since early 2018. You see, to fully understand the man that is Tanner Hunt, you must appreciate how seriously he takes fantasy football. Hunt has the 2nd highest overall win-loss percentage in league history and has been a serious X-IA division contender every year with the exception of 2017.
But Hunt has been plagued by misfortune, because despite his overall win-loss percentage of 59.5%, his real game win-loss percentage is only 48.3%. And so his going 4-11 and losing to TC in the Battle to Not Be Last in 2017 was somewhat of a final straw. Those closest to him say he vanished into the mountains and hinterlands of Montana shortly after the close of the IFL season.
They say he is searching for his truest fantasy football form in those mountains.
I received some correspondence from Hunt recently and he said his current life would be largely incompatible with fantasy football this season.
With Anton itching to return from his own hiatus, it feels only natural that the two would swap places. Anton has the 3rd highest real game winning percentage at 60%, with a record of 18-12, has a division win and a 2nd place finish under his belt; not to mention one of the best winning streaks in IFL history at 8 straight. His fantasy skill will breathe new life into the X-IA division, a division that is currently sitting last in the all-time division standings.
The league welcomes Anton and awaits Hunt's return, pending his penalty being paid with interest.
With that settled, let's take a look at the top 3 team names for 2017 as voted by you, for a little inspiration:
3RD PLACE (6 VOTES)
JOE
THE NUT GRABBING 9 YEAR OLDS
The immortal 9 year old combines with his most potent offensive attack and strikes comedic gold, landing him dangerously close to the title of Best Team Name. The trauma of his victims' probably cost him some votes.
2ND PLACE (7 VOTES)
JESSE
HELM'S DEEP ARCHERY CLUB
LotR will always be fertile territory, and the nostalgia and playfulness of Jesse's entry scored big with Tolkien fans; though not quite universal enough.
1ST PLACE (9 VOTES)
BRADY
TC'S SICK FANTASIES
Much like the rings of Middle-earth, it is said IFL championship rings carry their own curious powers. Hot off his 2016 IFL Championship, Brady divined a team name so darkly comedic, that it Trumped all other contenders. His ring, I fear, was the source of this darkness, and I personally worry for his long-term mental health. Nevertheless, the peers agreed, and TC's SICK Fantasies took the freaking cake for the 2017 Best Team Name.
Much more to come.