Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Goffpocalypse
Coach Austin
148.90 pts
Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Shirt Brothers
Coach Jord
CeeDee Lamb - 41 pts
(Back to back weeks for Shirt Brothers having the highest scoring player)
Rivalry Week, once again, does not disappoint. It had everything: upsets, snapped streaks, games coming down to MNF, and a dark magic 1v1 that you will have to see to believe.
PINEVIEW LEGENDS
There were a bevy of upsets, but the one that had to have meant the most was Chris finally getting in the win column, knocking off No Nonsense Nelson 125-111. Chris’ team is underdog personified now, as Zach Moss continues to poach tuddies and remain fantasy relevant, and he’s got some guy named Trey McBride that put up a near 30-burger this week????????? Amazing. Nelson falls to 4-4, but with the whole BSC division, save Scrantonicity, losing this week, it doesn’t hurt as bad as it could.
IOWA FALLS TRANSPLANTS
The other streak snapped this week was done so by Jesse, who lowered his head, and rammed those spikes into Ewoldt’s soft golfer underbelly. The ELITE Josh Dobbs sang his swan song this week, putting up a 20-burger, perhaps for the last time ever, as the Cardinal move on from him for god knows why, and La Bamba wins 139-95. The Course Rangers finally lose, and are now 7-1. It’s a clutch victory for Jesse, as it cuts Ewoldt’s division lead to just two games in X-IA. Also, somehow flying under the radar, is the fact that La Bamba is now the win streak leader in the IFL, at 4 straight, AND has the 3rd highest PPG in the league. 👀
FAILED MATHEMATICIANS
While we’re talking X-IA, another team who is heating up, Hunt’s Groovers, who also climb to 5-3, behind a devastating win against your cursed Commissioner, 147-132. Hunt’s squad is actually even hotter than Jesse’s, in terms of PPG, as they are the highest scoring team in the league over the last 4 weeks, averaging 129 PPG to Jesse’s 123 PPG (3rd best). It was an all around effort for Good Tanner Hunting, who had 8 of his 9 players score 12 points or higher. The X-IA division continues to get spicier. Dierks’ Heathens fall to 2-6 and threaten to have their worst season ever.
BACHELOR PARTY ABSENTEES
Perhaps the most dramatic battle this weekend was between these two bitter of rivals: D & B.
It’s a game of which I saw the projected winner flip nearly 10 different times, as Drew’s noon slate players scored points left and right, Brady’s WRs combined for 67 points, Joe Burrow put a 30-bomb for Brady in the late afternoon slot, and Hollywood Brown came alive in garbage time for Drew. Then in SNF Justin Herbert’s halftime twenty deuce looked like the death knell for Brady, but he would follow it up with just 4 more points to finish the game which left Davante Adams needing just 12 points in MNF to get Drew the dub, a feat he’s managed 5 out of 7 games this season. That’s when things began to interesting. As many of you know, Drew is deep into the dark arts, like so far gone that there’s no coming back, but this didn’t stop Brady from trying the unthinkable:
Performing a curse of his own, Brady pulled the uno reverse card on Drew, despite ESPN breaking headlines like this one:
There were a few more incantations uttered back and forth between the two but as someone who is actively trying to avoid Drew’s witchcraft, suffice it to say that whatever Brady did worked, as Davante caught just one catch against the Lions, and Brady would hold on to win 133-123. The ANABOLIC SPUDSMAN fall to 4-4, still tied with No Nonsense Nelson a game back in the BSC. Brady moves to 4-4, and again, despite all odds, his team drafted purely on physical beauty, is now in a tie for the divisional lead of the Cul-de-Sack.
CY-HAWK
Perhaps the quietest upset, and yet maybe the most shocking, was the seemingly unstoppable Scallon Express blowing their carburetor and losing to TC Schefter and his juicy scoops, 74-112. The devil works hard but TC Schefter works harder. TC is now 8-0 all-time against Scallon, quite similar to Matt Campbell’s track record against Iowa (1-6). Scallon is fortunate that Aaron and Drew’s losses keep him in the driver seat in the BSC. For TC, it’s a big win to get back to .500 and stay in the mix in the hyper-competitive Papa Jord’s division.
RICHARD BROS
Speaking of which, the Richard Bros was an absolute shootout, by which Jord and the Shirt Brothers could just not keep up. Goffpocalypse continues their offensive prowess, exploding for 149 points this week, to Shirt Brothers 124. Little Richard has now won 4 out of their last 5 games and continues their claim as the highest scoring team in the league. The game evens things up for Goffpocalypse, as they enter a 3-way tie for 2nd place with Jord and TC in Papa Jord’s.
MOST INTERESTING MEN IN THE WORLD
They can open piñatas with a wink and a smile.
The police often question them just because they find them interesting.
When they drive a new car off the lot, it increases in value.
This year’s battle of the gentlemen went to the junior, Qualley and his Des Moines Football Team, as they best the Doc’s Tuna with Mustard 118-98. Kirk Cousins gave one last valiant effort for the Doc, a twenty deuce before tearing his Achilles, but alas it was not enough, and that is the fickle nature of fantasy football. Qualley improves to 5-3 and now has sole ownership of the Papa Jord’s division lead, having now won 3 consecutive games.
JANE’S BASMENT
Everyone in the Cul-de-Sack was rooting for a Curtis victory this week, in the Battle of Jane’s Basement, and they got one, behind 3 near 30-bombs from George Kittle, Gus Edwards and Dak Prescott, as the 3-Peat Pick ‘Em Champ sent Nick back upstairs to play Gamecube by himself, winning 135-119. Nick falls to 4-4 on the season and now enters a dogfight for the Cul-de-Sack title, as he ties with Brady and Curtis gets to within a game back.
X-IA with another great weeks puts them into a tie with Papa Jord’s. The Cul-de-Sack finally wakes up and course corrects with big scores, and climbs out from the bottom.
A wild rivalry week makes for tough picking, but a few take advantage. Don’t look now, but last year’s pick ‘em champ has been usurped by the scholar Qualley.
