Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Deshaun Watson’s Lawyer
Coach TC
158.61 pts
Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Gotta Catch ‘Em All
Coach Jesse
Alvin Kamara - 40 pts
With a photo finish and 3 matchups decided on Monday Night Football, the IFL’s first ever Rivalry Week did not disappoint.
PINEVIEW LEGENDS
Despite being heavily favored by Pickers (7-1) and having a roster that looks infallible (Saquon, Josh Jacobs, Davante, and Waddle?!) Chris dug deep for some of his signature Pineview Magic™, and put up some stout defense, limiting Jacobs and Adams to just 8.5 points. However, Aaron’s quadruple jukes were too tough to guard ultimately, and a late Geno Smith surge gave the Badassmailman the victory, albeit a slim one, 115.22 - 114.29. $10 FAAB to Aaron, as he chips away at this series, still losing 2 to 5 overall. Aaron climbs to 7-1, winning 7 straight, and now has sole possession of the BSC division.
RICHARD BROS
What did I tell you? Right or wrong, little bros always win, and here Austin’s love for great names proves all too right. For when Rodgers LSDream Team needed 19 points to beat big brother’s ASSassins on the last night of Spooktober, BIG CHUBB went out and nearly got him 30, leading his team to a 113-105 win. It’s a game Austin needed, as it keeps him alive in the Papa Jord’s division, at two games back, a position that Jord too now finds himself in. This series is now tied 1-1 all-time.
JANE’S BASEMENT
Being the minutes spent in Jane’s Basement has its perks, and one of them is owning her son Nick, which Curtis does for the third time in a row, and in 8 out of 12 matchups. To be fair Nick’s three best players were on bye, but their subs were were worthless, as Nick falls to 1-7 on the season, losing to IFL’s 3-Peat Pick ‘Em Champ 71-121. Curtis hold his grip on the reigns of the Cul-de-Sack, up one game at 5-3.
CYCLONES VS HAWKEYES
There were a couple blowouts this week, but none bigger than the absolute shalacking Kirk Ferentz’s #1 Disciple TC put on the Scallon Express this week, 159-89. It appears that TC was exorcising some demons on this one, as he has in all of their matchups, now moving to 6-0 all time against the gentle giant Cyclone fan Scallon. Despite the disappointment that Jonathan Taylor has been thus far, the Express is still 6-2 on the season, and still leads the wildcard race. TC now leads Papa Jord’s by one game at 5-3 on the season.
MOST INTERESTING MEN IN THE WORLD
They once freed a bear from a bear trap.
People hang on their every word, even the prepositions.
They once ran a marathon, because it was on their way.
Just so its clear, whether I’m invited or not, I will be at your wedding. Particularly when its one of the two most interesting men in the world. Yesterday I got to witness my sister’s courthouse union, and more importantly the conclusion of Qualley’s, and I count myself the luckiest man in the world for that fortuitousness. Congratulations again and I hope your birthday was a joyful one, my good sir. Though I doubt Qualley’s night could have been spoiled, Jack tried his best, as a late touchdown to Tee Higgins put the Tufted Titmice over the DSM Football Team 141-124. This settles the all-time series 2-2, and squares both teams up 4-4 on the season.
IOWA FALLS TRANSPLANTS
Spikey hair beats skater hair in my personal record book every day of the week, and for Jesse the season officially started last week, as Gotta Catch ‘Em All is undefeated since DeAndre Hopkins’s return. This was another blowout, as Mr. Autodraft had below average performances, and was purely outclassed by 75 combined points from Kamara and D-Hop. This was a huge win for Jesse in X-IA, as it cuts Ewoldt’s lead to just two games over him, as well as the tiebreaker advantage. And as Jesse alluded to, I am also excited to see what he has in store for his extra $10 FAAB. Jesse now trails in this series just 5 to 6, having won back-to-back matchups.
BACHELOR PARTY ABSENTEES
Brady’s boys were on one early Sunday, with 65 points from Etienne and AJ Brown, but as we know, all logic goes out the window when Drew’s involved, and GOATHIVE just kept hang around, with good or great performances from Tue, Fourtnette and Jakobi Meyers, and it took a spooky Browns beatdown of the Bengals last night to hold off Tyler Boyd from pulling off the comeback. The ALL-TIME D move to 4-4, remaining one game back in the CdS, and Drew, at 3-5, falls four games back in the BSC, which somehow isn’t far enough. Brady takes the lead 5 to 4 in this series, a slight that Drew will hold onto for as long as it takes to enact his recompense.
FAILED MATHEMATICIANS
Despite a dysmal 4 points from DADDY’S BOYS two players on TNF, the remaining coaches and players for the Carolina Panthers (D’Onta and DJ Moore) were able to produce 63 points behind the greatest pass of the season from XFL LEGEND PJ Walker, and it was an effort that Hunt couldn’t arithmetic his way out out of, ultimately losing 105-130. DADDY’S BOYS and Hunt’s team are now both 4-4 and both sit a game back in their respective divisions. Hunt has now also lost four straight, proving that the highest of highs can only come with the lowest of lows. The Commish’ now leads this series 4-2.
X-IA, Papa Jord’s and the Cul-de-Sack all gain ground on the Boy Scout Cyclones, as the race for top division heats up.
Brady goes a nutty 8 for 9 this week on Pick ‘Em: Rivalry Edition, but Chris gives up little ground.
