Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Tufted Titmice
Coach Jack (5th time this season)
137.81 pts* (Awarded based on projections, as no one else was close, and Jack still had Joe Burrow in play.)
Highest Scoring Player ($7)
#Griddy
Coach Chris
Mike Evans - 47.7 pts
Where do you even begin after a week of football like this? Enough time has now passed since Monday Night that Damar Hamlin has come out of his coma and is talking to his Bills teammates, in what seems like a real life miracle. I cannot recall following the medical status of a person I had zero knowledge of prior to an incident so intently as this, but to have him appearing to pull through like this is elating.
Fortunately for us, the IFL Superbowl was spared from the MNF no contest fantasy implications, as our championship game was concluded Sunday Night, after Qualley’s JK Dobbins failed to score enough points to force Curtis to play the Bills DEF, and the 3-Peat Pick ‘Em Champ won 85.38-84.60. It was indeed the lowest scoring IFL Superbowl, with a combined 169.98 points, it edged out the previous defensive battle of 2016, when Brady socked Drew 114.76-78.66 (193.42 combined).
Qualley, who had ridden the wave of 30-burgers produced by Kirk Cousins and Justin Jefferson into the Superbowl alongside his nuptials and global honeymoon, averaging 16 more PPG than Curtis over the last four weeks, finally was humbled, as the Packers completely steamrolled the Vikings and Kirk and JJets combined for a mere 5.65 points.
Qualley had this to say after the game: “My players knew I needed to be brought down to earth after touring the earth for the past three weeks. I commend them for their lack of performance. It’s making me a strong person.”
Not sure where Qualley earned such wisdom at such a young age, but it frightens me for what’s to come from him in the future of this league.
Curtis, didn’t exactly go off in the championship, but instead, does like he always has done, JUST FREAKING WIN. Russel Wilson put up only the 3rd 20-deuce of the year, the DADDY’S BOYS-traded DJ Moore (told you he’d pay off) put up 24.2 and the Raider embodiment Daniel Carlson put up 12 to help put Curtis over the edge.
This was Curtis’s 79th career win, making him 2nd-all time in wins and win percentage (79-61 or 56.4%) and 4th-playoff appearance, so to finally have a ring to go with his history of winning has to feel good, and probably overdue. Congratulations my friend.
Now, for the complicated part: the games that were affected by Bengals / Bills “no contest”.
To address these outstanding games, we’re taking them on a case by case basis.
3rd Place Game: Austin vs Drew ($10 on the line)
Austin led by 24 points with Tyler Bass remaining, and Drew had Gabe Davis still in play. Austin is being awarded the win based on high probability, and if that’s not enough, Drew declared he’d forfeit. Austin wins 3rd place - congrats pal.
5th Place Game: Jack vs TC (nothing on the line except bragging rights)
Jack is awarded the win based on overwhelming projections (he’s up 55 points and still has Joe Burrow in play), and will get a win on the season, but this game serves no other consequence.
11th Place Game: Nick vs Ewoldt (nothing on the line except bragging rights)
Ewoldt would probably win based on projections but since it’s within the margins of a possible loss, and since this game doesn’t matter whatsoever, it’s declared a “no contest”.
For the remaining two outstanding games, the Consolation Championship and the Toilet Bowl Losership, we’re going to do something a little different.
We debated leaving the score as is - but that didn’t feel quite fair, as both teams that were losing were projected to win. But awarding the win to the losing team doesn’t feel right either. So call it a tie, right?
In the words of Tanner Hunt: “[We] don’t tie.”
So we’re gonna have a little fun with it.
Consolation Championship: Jord vs Zach & Toilet Bowl Losership: Chris vs Brady
Final score will be a hybrid score of Week 17 and Week 18. Coaches will be able to select the player scores from Week 17 that they would like to keep, and those scores for those positions that they would like to roll the dice on for Week 18. Players can be substituted to address injuries or matchups. Sleeper app doesn’t support lineup changes for Week 18 or waivers / free agents, so this will all be done manually through the Commish’. I’ll make a spreadsheet for the league to see the matchups.
Per above only two matchups were decided, and the Pick ‘Em table has been updated accordingly. The outstanding pick ‘em polls that pertained to outstanding matchups will be declared per the Week 18 hybridization scoring. So choices are still locked, but we’ll await the outcomes of Week 18. Monday Night Question from last week - who will score more Stefon Diggs or Jamar Chase will go into Week 18 as well and their respective scores for Week 18.
For the first time ever, Superbowl week won’t be the last weekly recap of the season. How about that?