Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Des Moines Football Team
Coach Qualley (2nd time this season)
137.15 pts
Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Team Hunt
Coach Hunt (2nd time this season)
Jalen Hurts - 32.9 pts
(Qualley had the 1st and 2nd highest scoring players, but you can’t win both awards; and Trevor Lawrence scored the 3rd most, but sat on Aaron’s bench)
WOW. The 9th regular season of the Iowa Fantasy League comes to a close, and in stunning fashion, as the Doc and his Tufted Titmice snap the Mailman’s 12-game win streak. 98 points, Aaron’s lowest point total of the season, a possibly troubling fact heading into the playoffs, couldn’t match Jack’s 118 points, and the Tufted Titmice claim the X-Iowa division title in their first season transferring there. This is Jack’s third division title in his seven seasons in the IFL, the previous two earned in Papa Jord’s, and his fifth playoff berth, which is second only to Drew (7). With the win, Jack also wins the $20 Bounty for the season, congrats! Unbelievably, he kicked off the season with the bounty, as the lowest scoring team of Week 1. Quite the roller coaster. Here’s the trajectory of the Bounty this year:
Jack starts it off being the lowest scoring team of Week 1 —> TC steals it Week 2 —> Hunt steals it Week 3 —> Chris steals it Week 5 —> Jesse steals it Week 7 —> Austin steals it Week 9 —> Aaron steals it Week 12 —> Jack WINS it Week 14.
Meanwhile TC and Deshaun Watson’s Lawyer cruised to victory over Brady, who took a dump as the lowest scoring team of the week, and TC earns his 2nd Papa Jord division title in six seasons, and his fourth-ever playoff berth.
And then there’s this:
Never a doubt here either, Qualley. I mean, come on. How lucky is the IFL? We have not one, but both of the Most Interesting Men in the World, and apparently their legend extends to fantasy football prowess. In Qualley’s junior season as an IFL coach, he grabs a wildcard spot, his first playoff berth, a first of many to come, and does so in impressive form, burying Chris with the most points in the league this week, 137-88. He did so behind 34.5 points from Justin Jefferson, which was actually insane considering JJ didn’t score a touchdown (apparently a top 20 fantasy performance of all-time for players that didn’t score a touchdown); and a completely ridiculous 42.2 points from Evan Engram. It’s a suspicious score from, as I can personally attest, a frustratingly inconsistent tight end, who hasn’t scored more than 20 points in a fantasy game since Week 3 of 2019, and yet it makes perfect sense given the context of his coach Qualley’s personal calendar this week. I mean, I was already excited about spending Thursday in Colombia, celebrating the junior Most Interesting Man in the World’s marriage, but now that Evan Engram is my plus-one, it’s La Vida Caliente time.
Quietly grabbing the other wildcard spot, the Scallon Express, beat Mr. Autodraft 97-70, entering the playoffs as the lowest scoring team who clinched, but ended a four game slide at the final hour, when the team needed it most. This is Scallon’s 2nd ever playoff bid, and his first wildcard berth.
With the traditional six playoff seeds accounted for, that leaves the newly formatted at-large playoff slots, awarded to the remaining highest scoring teams.
The first of those is, regrettably, Drew’s GOATHIVE, who finishes the season averaging 113 PPG, with a record of 7-7. It’s Drew’s 7th playoff berth in our 9-year history, a fact that makes me physically ill.
The Richard Bros, who began the week in a tie for PPG at 109, converged convincingly in Week 14, after Austin “Little” Richard had the balls to start Brock “The Next Tom Brady” Purdy in his first career start and his 22.2 points helped propel Austin to finish with an average of 110 PPG on the season. Meanwhile Papa Jord’s bold start of Kenny Pickett was knocked out of the game almost immediately, and 74 points dropped his average to 107 PPG on the season, giving Rodger’s LSDream Team their first ever playoff bid. Congrats.
With 8 playoff qualifiers now set, we will begin the process of the upper seeds selecting which 5-8 seeds they want for the first round, a process which takes place in both the championship and consolation playoff brackets.
With the new 8-team playoff format, the formerly two separate consolation brackets are now merged, so bottom 8 teams in the league are simultaneously in a consolation bracket for draft odds and a toilet bowl in the Tournament to Not Be Last. Win 3 straight games, and you’ve won the consolation playoffs and best draft odds for next season; lose 3 straight games and you’re the worst team in the league for 2022.
2nd place in the consolation tournament will also win boosted playoff odds.
In the final week of the regular season, Papa Jord’s has a monster collective week, claiming the crown of the IFL’s Best Division of 2022. This is their third title in their 8-year history, second only to the Cul-de-Sack with five, though they do have a win in the lone season before Papa Jord’s joined the IFL. X-IA finishes the season as the worst division, a feat they have pulled now five times in nine seasons.
Chris lays a goose egg and allows the competition to gain a little ground.
Fun fact: Brock Purdy is the only quarterback in history to win his first win career start against Tom Brady.
San Francisco 49ers Starting Quarterback Ratings by Week:
Trey Lance - 50.3
Trey Lance - 99.3
Jimmy G - 81.2
Jimmy G - 100.7
Jimmy G - 109.4
Jimmy G - 87.0
Jimmy G - 99.3
Jimmy G - 132.5
Bye Week
Jimmy G - 94.3
Jimmy G - 131.9
Jimmy G - 94.7
Jimmy G - 95.8
Brock Purdy - 134.0
“Any average qb could look good playing for the 49ers”. -TC, 12/12/22.