Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Don’t Mess With the Zoquon
Coach TC
147.83 pts
Highest Scoring Player ($7)
USPS
Coach Aaron
Aaron Rodgers - 28.6 pts (James White had the most, but was benched, RIP Jord, and Davante Parker had 2nd most but was no TC’s team).
Pickup of the Week
Don’t Mess With the Zoquon
Coach TC
Rashaad Penny - $20 FAB
27.7 pts in Week 13
High Bid of the Week
See above.
Bench of the Week
Papa Jord’s
Coach Jord
James White - 37.2 pts
Benched for Jonathan Williams - 4.5 pts
Regular Season Champ
Don’t Mess with the Zoquon
Coach TC
9-4
Highest Scoring Team of the Season
Brett’s Regrets
Coach Drew
135.8 PPG
What a way to finish out the IFL regular season. A last minute field goal and an end-of-game kick return flips the TC/Brady game from TC winning to Brady winning to TC winning in less than a minute, and that game affected seeding of every team in the championship playoffs except for Nick, who edged out Hunt in a defensive battle 90-77, and holding the tiebreaker over Joe, nabbed the Cul-de-Sack division title for the first time ever, returning to the playoffs for the first time since 2017. Joe will finish the season on the outside looking in, as the 3rd power-ranked team, and the 3rd highest scoring team over the last 4 weeks, but will grab a bye week as the #2 seed in the upcoming consolation tournament. Joe, who dominated Aaron’s not-so-dominant-anymore fantasy defense 144-112, is also responsible for knocking Aaron out of playoff contention, who fails to make the playoffs for the 5th time in 6 seasons.
The last-second TC/Brady flip-flop meant the difference between TC alternatively getting in on a wildcard bid and TC being the Regular Season Champ ($15 prize), the #1 overall seed, earning a bye week, winning the Dirty Doc and the Boys division title for the first time ever, and make the playoffs for the first time in his 3-year history. Congratulations on all your accolades, TC!
The last-second TC/Brady flip-flop meant the difference between Jesse alternatively being the #1 overall seed and Regular Season Champ with a bye week, and Jesse getting the #2 overall seed with a bye week.
The last-second TC/Brady flip-flop meant the difference between John alternatively getting the #2 seed and a bye week, and Scallon getting the #3 seed with no bye week. However, in either case Scallon won the Boy Scout Cyclone division title for the first time ever, thanks to a surprisingly close game against Brat10, 133-130, and the head-to-head tiebreaker against Drew from earlier in the season. He earns a playoff bid for the first time in the Express’s history. Let’s go, Scallon!
The last-second TC/Brady flip-flop meant the difference between Drew alternatively being left out of the playoffs entirely as the 7th seed which would have been only the 2nd time that’s ever happened, and getting in as the 5-seed, the #1 wildcard bid, the first time he’s ever grabbed a wildcard and only the 2nd time ever that Drew hasn’t won the BSC division. Suck it, Drew! Drew, of course, edged out Jesse 119-116 this week to put him in this position in the first place, and is also responsible for Jesse losing the #1 overall seed.
The last-second TC/Brady flip-flop meant the difference between the Doc alternatively winning the DD&B for the 2nd time in 3 years and getting in as the 3-seed, and him instead getting in as the 6-seed, the 2nd wildcard bid, quietly earning a playoff spot for the 3rd straight season. Bill Belichick much? I think the Cleveland Browns biggest crime in all their debauchery is not looking into the local savant they are currently blessed to have in their freaking city.
The last-second TC/Brady flip-flop meant the difference between Jord alternatively nabbing the 6-seed, and making the playoffs back-to-back years, and instead missing the playoffs at 8-5, not unlike when the Patriots missed playoffs at 10-6, and instead grabbing the #1 overall seed and a bye week in the Consolation Bracket. Jord, of course, was put in this position by losing to the Commish, 103-127, who finished one game back in the CdS, and is relegated to the consolations.
Fantastically, what the wildcard bids came down to was the 2nd tiebreaker - PPG. Drew, Jack & Jord were all tied at 8-5, and their head-to-head record was 1-1, 1-1, 1-1; respectively. Drew wins the PPG tiebreaker by a landslide, 1,767 points on the season, then Jack, 1,560 points, and Jord, 1,542 points. For good measure, Jack also beat Jord, if it had come to that.
Finally, the flip-flop had no bearing on Brady’s team. He would be in the Tournament to not be last either way. But surely his pride was wounded.
Officially, Tony finishes the season with the lowest PPG in IFL history, BUT ALSO AS BEST MANAGER OF WEEK 13. So there’s that.
Championship Playoffs
Consolations
TOURNAMENT TO NOT BE LAST
And then there was 4. Could Brady repeat?
Here’s the possible punishments proposed by Best Team contest winner Drew:
Give a cash prize to the winner of the consolation bracket.
Take SAT
Run a 5K in a taco costume, must eat three crunchy tacos supreme at 1st mile marker, two crunchy tacos supreme at 2nd mile marker, and one crunchy tacos supreme at 3rd mile marker. League Taco participant can only drink Mountain Dew Baja Blast to wash down his shame.
Buys 1st and 2nd rounds of drinks for next year’s draft party.
Panhandle for next year’s league fees.
a. Winner chooses location
b. Second place chooses outfitLivestream themselves doing a full nfl combine workout.
Stay in a McDonalds for 24 hours. Each McChicken ate subtracts 30 minutes.
Caddy 9-18 holes for the league winner. Taco buys the brews.
Run for Congress. Fill out all the necessary paperwork
Write 1,000 page essay about how great the league winner is.
And an excellent outside idea from Jesse:
Remake the Antonio Brown video about loser’s own life.
TC & Brat10 carry the DD&B to the finish line as the top division in the IFL for the 2nd season in a row, while X-IA finishes last, with 3 out of 4 members playing in the Tournament to Not Be Last
Division Overall W-L:
DD&B: 442-338
BSC: 434-346
CdS: 357-3423
X-IA: 327-453
Live by the wager, die by the wager. Jesse keeps his wagers close to the vest, only participating in 4 so far, and climbs to just 4 back. Nick has a meteoric rise and fall after his +9 performance last week, he goes -6 this week and back to 4th place.
It’s playoff time, gents. Let’s get it.