Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Scallon Express
Coach John
178.33 pts
Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Tuna with Mustard
Coach Jack
Keenan Allen - 44.96 pts
Holy Fins, Batman. An absolute hurricane of points from Miami, the Chiefs, the Texans, the Bills, and the Seahawks has led to, possibly, the highest scoring week in IFL history. Now I say possibly, because it’s hard to say what the average point total for all teams will be at season-end, the number needed to adjust to previous season’s scoring systems, but as it stands now, the average IFL team scored 121.77 points this week. Under the current adjustment that would make this the highest scoring week since Week 5 of 2021. So we’ll circle back end of season to see exactly where this lands.
Leading the charge on points this week, the Scallon Express, who like a red blur on I-35, splattered the IFL’s 3-Peat Pick ‘Em Champ like a helpless squirrel, too slow to realize the mistake it had made, 178-111. Scallon had 5 players starting on the teams mentioned above, and they alone accounted for 112 points. The Express moves to 2-1, and now enters a 3-way tie in the BSC. Last week’s leader, No Nonsense Nelson drops their first game against Nick and Curtis’ Bronco Coat, who put on a shellacking of their own, 153-95. The other BSC contender, the Anabolic Spudsman, held on to their lead out of pure spite, and possibly disgust over the dietary tendencies of the Doc, as Tuna with Mustard looked to have a sure victory and said as much publicly prior to SNF.
Following that statement, the Spudman’s captain Davante Adams unloaded a 40-point baked potato, and that would be too much for the Doc to overcome, winning 151-134.
ALL-TIME D just hangs on to their lead over Dierks’ Heathens, 100-98, as Brady is granted his Make-A-Wish plea, with the powers at be striking down the Commish’s entire WR core.
Brady is able to avoid an 0-3 start despite having the worst PPG in the league at 93, 6 PPG worst than the next lowest coach, Jord.
With Jack, Aaron and the Commish’ all dropping games, that left just a single 2-0 coach to remain undefeated, and he and the Course Rangers did just that, behind, who else but he’s recently acquired Adam Thielen, who put up a 30-burger on Chris and the Scrantonicity All-Stars, winning 144-120. Ewoldt now sits atop the standings in record and pick ‘em. 👀
Chris falls to 0-3 along with Austin and Goffpocalypse, who lose the Qualley and DSM Football Team 133-146. However, it is the tale of two teams, as Chris has the 3rd worst average PPG in the league, and Austin has the 4th highest. If Moneyball taught us anything, expect Goffpocalypse to go on a run here very soon.
X-IA has back-to-back strong weeks and adds to their lead, with CdS now in 2nd place.
Qualley ties things up with Ewoldt, as 4 pickers go 4/5 (Chris, Curtis, TC, and the Commish’), tightening things up.
An All-Dolphins Roster this Week:
QB Tua Tagovailoa - 28.36 pts
RB De-Von Achane - 51.80 pts
RB Roheem Mostert - 42.70 pts
WR Tyreek Hill - 31.45 pts
WR Robbie Chosen - 13.55 pts
TE Durham Smythe - 3.00 pts
FLX Chris Brooks - 7.10 pts
K Jason Sanders - 10.00 pts
DST Dolphins - 10.20 pts
Total - 198.16 pts