Highest Scoring Team ($15)
The ASSassins
Coach Jord
168.32 pts
Highest Scoring Player ($7)
DADDY’S BOYS
Coach Zach
Stefon Diggs - 43.3 pts
Even when you fully account for recency bias, Sunday’s slate of games might have been the nuttiest of all time. Watching the RedZone channel, which is normally akin to taking cocaine for 7 hours straight, from what I hear about cocaine, was probably closer this week to taking PCP, from what I hear about PCP. Eight out of twelve of those games were decided by one score and the Jets and Dolphins respective comebacks will go down as one of the greatest in their team’s histories.
This week’s fantasy matchups weren’t quite as exciting, with the exception of the Scallon Express vs #Griddy matchup, which was a sneaky last-second victory by the Express. Scallon’s team only had like a 15% chance to win going in to Monday night, as Dalvin Cook’s typically good for 20 points, and Adam Thielen hasn’t been the same since his ankle injury in Week 13 last season, but the Vikings got somehow throttled by the Eagles and Cook was largely bottled up. Despite Kirk Cousins’s 3 interceptions, a late pass to Thielen gave the Express the go-ahead win over Griddy 100-99. A heartbreaker, to be sure. Scallon moves to 2-0 and Chris to 0-2.
Mr. Autodraft also moves to 2-0, despite the computer algorithm drafting literally nothing for Ewoldt at running back (his RBs combined for 5.4 points this week), the trio of Josh Allen, Kupp and Michael Thomas is a force to be reckoned with and they take down Austin and Rodgers LSDream Team 139-127.
The last time Lamar Jackson was MVP, TC won his first ring, and Lamar is having that kind of start again. Who keeps letting TC get Lamar?! We haven’t kept track of this stat, but Deshaun’s Watson’s Lawyer having two players score 40+ (Lamar & Tyreek) has to be one of the few times that’s ever happened in our league’s history. TC moves to 2-0 behind that performance, sending Jack’s Tufted Titmice to 0-2, 154-126.
Hunt gets his 15th consecutive regular season win, moving to 2-0, defeating Jesse and Gotta Catch ‘Em All 123-74, a feat that will never be matched for the rest of time surely.
Crazily enough, the league’s highest scoring team is none of the aforementioned 2-0 teams, but is the ASSassins, whose $15 performance this week, was also a butt-whoopin’ of his roommate, 168-63. I think there may be some bad blood there, due to Qualley evicting Jord from his residence.
Another week and another 49er goes down.
Elijah Mitchell. 💀
Trey Lance. 💀
Anybody want to trade for Jeff Wilson?
Despite both Elijah and Trey players being DADDY’S BOYS starters, the DADDY’S BOYS are 2-0. I know what you’re thinking, but no, I am NOT performing a ritualistic sacrifice of 49er players in exchange for wins. That would be insane.
A great week from Papa Jord’s and they overtake the lead from Boy Scout Cyclones.
Jack, Nick and yours truly all post a perfect week, but Chris remains on top. Curtis goes 50/50 this week, and begins to heat up. 😬
How did Dan Campbell scout Vikings-Eagles on MNF?
— Will Burchfield (@burchie_kid) September 20, 2022
"Normally, like any fan would. I fell over backwards in my chair drunk after the second half, I couldn’t even take notes anymore. Woke up, couldn’t read my notes. But I’m back in this morning, took some aspirin, we’re good."