It’s that time of year. Nothing sets the tone for your fantasy season like an inspired team name and professionally created corresponding logo.
As is tradition, the competition for Best Team Name will now commence. Here’s the rules:
The day after the draft a poll will be posted to vote for best team name based on these criteria: creativity, originality, comedic value, and poignancy
An appropriate team logo image must be included to qualify, and it's quality and relevance will also factor in to the above vote
Coach with most votes will get to submit 3 (or more) punishment ideas for the league's vote, one of which will be inflicted on the team that comes in last place at the conclusion of the season. Punishments will be non-permanent to the victim, approved by the commissioner prior to submittal, and intended to inflict maximum embarrassment. The submitted punishment ideas will then be voted upon by the entire league, and the last place team must comply or else be banished from the league for all eternity.
And to give a sense of where the bar has been set, here are our past winners:
2017 Best Team Name
BRADY
TC'S SICK FANTASIES
Much like the rings of Middle-earth, it is said IFL championship rings carry their own curious powers. Hot off his 2016 IFL Championship, Brady divined a team name so darkly comedic, that it trumped all other contenders. His ring, I fear, was the source of this darkness, and I personally worry for his long-term mental health. Nevertheless, the peers agreed, and TC's SICK Fantasies took the freaking cake for the 2017 Best Team Name.
2018 Best Team Name
DREW
SLICK RICK & THE FIREPOLES
Drew said in his wedding speech, that Rick “taught me how to be a man”. But the bigger reality is, Rick taught us all how to be a man. Even if you’ve never met the guy, just the mere image of him, holding his catch like an aquatic trophy, barely allowing himself any outwardly sign of happiness, you know what a man should look like. We all want to be like Rick, and in that way, we are the firepoles. Rick’s teenage funk-punk band name carried Drew to Best Team Name 2018
2019 Best Team Name
DREW
BRETT’S REGRETS
Drew wasn’t able to repeat in the IFL Superbowl, but he did manage back-to-back titles in Best Team Name with his “Big Brett”-centric team, capitalizing on the gummy bear theme from the 2019 draft party that Big Brett had popularized, and pulling off some appropriately apt photoshop work, it was an easy choice for the league.
2020 Best Team Name
BRADY
FULLY STOCKED
With Drew not having an entry whatsoever in 2020 it’s hard to say whether he might have 3-peated or not, but one thing’s for sure, Brady and Drew have somewhat of a stranglehold on this competition, with Brady striking another chord in the heart of the many who have been graced by Linda Scallon’s hospitality, and her quantity and selection of soda that rivals any grocery store.
honorable mention
A few of my favorites that didn’t quite land top honors, but were nonetheless brilliant.
