Highest Scoring Team ($15)
The Groovers
Coach Hunt
154.14 pts
Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Shirt Brothers
Coach Jord
D’onta Foreman - 34.5 pts
(Hunt’s Travis Kelce scored 39.9 pts but you can’t win both weekly awards)
We will continue to feature Ewoldt and Chris’ historic streaks until they are snapped. Deal with it.
In our Game of the Week, Ewoldt, fittingly, beats Drew 130-116, to extend his season to 7-0, becoming just the 4th coach ever to do so. Drew, famously, could not reach 7-0.
Those coaches, again, and how they finished:
2015 Anton’s Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory: 12-3, 2nd Place
2016 Brady’s The Twenty Deuce: 12-3, 1st Place
2019 Jesse’s 3-2-1 Spike: 9-6, 4th Place
And again, on the flipside, the yin to Ewoldt’s yang, Chris falls to 0-7, losing to Jesse this week 87-104, which is a bit rarer territory, as just two other coaches have ever pulled that off.
Those coaches:
2017 TC’s Dirty Mike and the Boys: 3-12, 15th
2020 Drew’s Team DrewBot: 2-12, 15th
The biggest surprise this week - Scallon Express hitting an unexpected road bump. Much like the 49ers losing to the Vikings, the unstoppable Express took a bit of a shellacking as underdog Brady’s James Cook and AJ Brown teed off, and helped to upset Scallon 131-104. Scallon snaps his 5 game win-streak, and falls to just a one-game lead in the Boy Scout Cyclones but is still the far and away #1 power-ranked team despite recent acquisistion Deebo Samuel being out for the next couple weeks. Brady’s team, on paper, is one of the worst we’ve ever seen, and yet has so much heart that that fact may be irrelevant. It is actually possible for him to take advantage of embarrassingly weak division, and contend for a token playoff berth, and this win puts him just a game back from the Cul-de-Sack leader Nick, who nearly got doubled up on this week by Jord 78-139.
In our other game of interest this week, Qualley and the DSM Football Team easily handle TC Schefter 117-82, which maintains his tie in Papa Jord’s with Papa Jord.
Tragically, falling out of the 4-way tie that Papa Jord had last week, is Austin and Goffpocalypse, who would lose to the team of the week, Hunt’s Groovers 112-154. The difference being nearly entirely Travis Kelce, who at 34 years old, put up a 40-burger. Unreal. Alas, the Moneyball streak was not meant to be, Austin. Perhaps calling it that somewhat jinxed it, or, perhaps, it made it even the slightest bit more possible? Who can say. Regardless, Papa Jord’s division remains extremely tight. Hunt, along with Jesse remain 3 games back from the undefeated Ewoldt, in X-IA, and continue to battle, but may be looking at a wildcard spot as their way in to the playoffs.
Finally, I would like to officially go on record and announce that I am cursed. After one too many jabs at Andrew “Voodoo Drew” Gustin, the evidence that he put a hex on me is overwhelming.
Let me lay it out for you. I didn’t notice anything was fishy until halfway through the 2021 season, when my second round draft pick Calvin Ridley went to Twitter to announce that, without warning, he would be stepping away from football for his mental wellbeing.
Now, kudos to him for getting the help that he needed, but it was a bizarre way to lose a player.
The following season, 2022, I would go on to lose 5 players to season-ending injuries and one to a 8-week MCL sprain:
4th-Round Draft Pick Elijah Mitchell
5th Round Draft Pick Darnell Mooney
6th Round Draft Pick Rashod Bateman
7th Round Draft Pick Trey Lance
$13 Waiver Acquisition Wan’Dale Robinson
$0 Waiver Acquisition Jimmy Garoppolo
Bear in mind, that all of those draft picks were picked either right before or right after Drew’s picks, as I was 15th and he was 16th…
That brings us to this season, which started off pretty normal: win the first two games, power-ranked #1, got a deep squad, led by rookie phenom Bijan Robinson, etc. Then week 3, my top 3 receivers are all out, and I lose to Brady by less than 2 points. Okay.
3 losses later brings us to week 7. We’re entering Byemageddon, but alas, my team is healthy.
Noon games kickoff and I see these messages from Brady:
Panicked, I scour the internet for information, but there is nothing indicating any kind of issue and everyone is just as confused as I am. At halftime of the game, after receiving 0 touches, Arthur Smith tells sideline report Kristina Pink that Bijan is “just not feeling all that great”.
The game ends with Bijan getting a single carry for 3 yards. Bijan said after the game that he began feeling weird Saturday night and was suffering from headaches Sunday.
It is a situation so stupid that the NFL has announced they will investigate the Atlanta Falcons and Arthur Smith for their failure to disclose the matter.
If that’s not categorical proof of a curse, then what is? HUH?! Please, Drew, make it stop. I have learned my lesson. I promise.
Dierks’ Heathens would go on to lose 78-112 to No Nonsense Nelson, their 5th straight loss. Spooky, right? 🎃
X-IA crushes it this week, and makes a play for top division, just 3 games back on Papa Jord’s now. Cul-de-Sack takes a nosedive, and are a truly awful division this year, which is something I can say, because I am spearheading our race to the bottom.
Chris, Qualley and Jesse all go 3 for 4 this week, keeping Chris and Qualley on top and Jesse attempts to claw his way out of the gutter.
